Dont know what to write about

i dont know what to write about.

Tomorrow is mothers day...
i dont have any money. Actually i have about $35 in quarters that im going to use.
I have no money. It is starting to become a problem for me.

I need a job.
Dont want a job. fuck :(

Had a rough week.
as my friends would put it "i have been on edge"

Yea, i have. I really just dont know what to do. hahaahaha
i have lost it, well, actually i know where it is. But it is to hard to reach. And i use to love having it but i think if i try and get it i will be disappointed with what happens.

Its like an old video game. I use to love it, i lost it, and now i re-play it and realize how much it sucks now. So now the awesome memory of that video game is now shit. boring. causes me stress. makes me yell at my friends...i dont think im talking about a video game anymore ;)

so, what do i do now? i just leave it there. Occasionally it will fall, i will look at it. remember how good of a game it was. Look at the box art. Maybe watch a few trailers for the game to remember. But never actually play it again. So i put it back up on its shelf and keep it clean and always have it but never touch it again.
Maybe i should just throw it away? so i forget about it. So i dont have to worry about it bothering me again?
maybe.

So! New topic.
Mothers day. what should i buy?
ehhhhhhh, a card.
okay i definitely need a card.
now what else? a candle? she always wants a candle. hmmmm a gift card? ehhh, doesnt show enough love.
iTunes card? meh, i will sooner or later use it too.
ummmmmmm, i need something cheap that still looks like i care.
im so fucking bad at this. Im just not in the mood for it.
Fuck you Video Game! i wish i just never played you!!

i think ill go with a candle.
no flowers. i hate giving flowers. so typical and ordinary. boring. its just a pretty plant that will die.
wow, that sounded bad? hahahahaha

see, if flowers didnt die, and they just stayed perfect and colorful i wouldnt mind spending 69billion dollars on them. But they kinda just go bad after a week.
A candle, well at least they last about a month or two.

im hungry. Kinda want some food. nothing for me to have though. I might be able to go afford a McFlurry after i buy everything.
Maybe.
i doubt it though.

hmmmmmm, i promised you that i would write about happier stuff. Look where that got me? no where
damnit. i wonder if every teenager has gone through something like this.
they probably have, im just bad at dealing with it.
I trap my emotions in to much and just let them all out at one time. Kinda sucks.
i need a vacation.

am i really bored when i say i am bored? or am i just making an excuse to not go do anything cause i am also lazy. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

sigh. huge fucking sigh...i need to get out of this house. I just want to go walk around somewhere. Just chill, by myself. with music.

i think i might do that. actually scratch that. shit weather today. well at least thats what my mom said. ehhhh plus im going out tonight for my mom. going to go see that again. i liked thor, Natalie Portman is hot.

hahahah ill leave you on that note.

goodbye :)
ill talk to you probably tonight. maybe, kinda, i really dont know actually. But probably kinda maybe...
ya know? hahahahah
bye