So, im bored...

This is me writing out of boredom and frustration.
just keep that in mind. Cause im going to probably switch between many topics and its gunna be quick

So, whats up today?
I dont really know. It was an okay day today. Average i guess. and once i got home it just seemed to become shity. Boring. i guess another average day hahaha.
im just not in the best mood today. Maybe im just a negative person? Even though i love being happy.

well doesnt everyone? hahahaha wtf

i love making other people happy i guess. I love it!! i love making them smile and just hanging out with them. Just being in their presence.
But i also hate people.

So, let me restate that, i like hanging out with my friends.

so what type of mood am i in right now? just wish i could be sitting with all my friends. Next to someone just listening to all of them talking.
Occasionally submitting my feelings/thoughts and see what people say.

Why do i not like to talk to them? well i do!
but i like listening to them more and watching their reactions to my seldom sarcasm.
I like to listen and analyze, try to predict what they might say next. It helps me cope, helps me think.


Im growing up man...
I dont like it. I felt old today.
Not necessarily better, higher, bigger than other people.
But i looked at these freshmen and sophomores talking about their lives, and their problems.
Just sitting there and remembering when i use to worry about writing a 1 page essay. When my biggest problem was if i should play basketball for a couple hours or hang with friends.
Now?
i have to worry about my future, im going into the real world in less than 30 days...
less than a month..
its amazing how fast time goes. I can remember sitting with tyler at his garage, trying to just film random shit.
Watching the sun go down. Loving the weather.

now, those days are gone.
Sure i have them every once in a while, but not as much. and i cant enjoy them to there full extent.

I just find it funny how much can happen in 4 years. So much. Maybe this is the biggest change in my life.
I have changed so much.
I am an adult, i feel mature. I feel that i can take on the real world if i needed.
do i want to? am i fully prepared?

no, and i never will be


The best way to cope with it all?
music and friends.

"life has been insane"
"thats what makes life interesting, i guess. Those insane parts."

thats so true. its insane within itself how true that statement is.
I have always lived for the past, rarely for the now, and never for the future.
I need to learn from my own advice.

Live for the now, dont go crazy, but dont ever make a decision that i look back on and regret not doing something.
Just do it
so with saying that.

Im going to Prom.

whats the worst that happens?
i get really embarrassed cause i cant dance?
yea, that will totally happen. But who gives a fuck.
who will judge me? so what, i cant dance. hahaha im never gunna see those kids again in my life. And the ones that i do see again are the ones that wont make fun of me, they are the ones that im there for. To live the good life and live the memories.

now, there is only one thing on my mind.
and i cant talk about it hahahaha. its so stupid.
lets just say those love songs, they are true.
hahahaahhaahaha

ill talk to you later.
Peace :)